Choose a Girl

We can focus so much on our own insecurities in bed that we don’t verbally express enough appreciation of our partner. Yeah, we don’t know either, but for those of us who struggle with dirty talk, the scene is a little too relatable. As you bathe in the afterglow of a ravenous session, expand the sensuality with some post-sex dirty talk.

• We would never say these things to one another in any other context, and this is especially true if we’re verbally playing out our sexual fantasies.
• You don’t have to be an erotica novelist or fanfic author to crush the dirty talk game.
• What are your own descriptors for what you love doing?
• According to Lee-ann Cordingley, a clinical sexologist and sex coach, dirty talk can trigger feelings of vulnerability, especially for men who may be used to expressing themselves with physical touch rather than words.

Get comfortable talking about sex outside the bedroom.

• She has a Diploma in Health Sciences from the University of Leeds and has written for several publications, including Business Insider, Refinery29, Black Ballad, Huffington Post, Stylist, ZORA, Greatist, and many more.
• A high school research paper is a great place to show off your extended vocabulary — the bedroom, however, is not.
• ” — that I immediately filed away for use with the right person.
• You will probably feel silly or uncomfortable, but at least you can avoid feeling like this in front of your lover later on.
• “List some words and phrases or even scenarios that turn you on, then ask, ‘Do you know what turns you on?

You can take inspiration from porn or movies, but be sure to give it your own twist. Think about what turns you on and create a list of words, scenarios, or fantasies that arouse you. Then place your personal touch, including moans, groans, and the ubiquitous “YEAH?! YEAH!!” exchange to make your sexual talk genuinely resonate.

Why talk dirty to your partner?

What’s important for you to know is that for the ones who enjoy it, the way they like it might vary. Some enjoy only the very soft-core vanilla-like dirty talk. So listen to your partner, and think about what is best for your sex life.

How do you talk dirty even if you’re shy?

If you never talk about sex, it’s not necessarily going to be any easier getting chatty in bed, so don’t shy away from talking about it with your partner at other times. No need to channel a porn star right out of the gate. Say what feels natural to you in the moment, and definitely don’t feel like you have to construct some elaborate sex narrative beforehand.

Ultimately, getting in sync with what your partner likes and dislikes and any fetishes or kinks you each have is important for any intimate act, dirty talk included. As Bethany Ricciardi, sex expert at Too Timid explains, people often also get turned on by hearing that a partner has these steamy thoughts about them. That said, in these scenarios, communication will be key.

And once you’re warmed up and in the dirty talking mindset, let yourself really start having fun by improvising your own lines. Remember, there’s a big difference between consensual name-calling and malicious name-calling in, say, the workplace. Just because someone is into erotic massage roleplay doesn’t mean they want to be taken advantage of by a professional masseuse when they go to the spa after a long week of work.

After all, using props or experimenting with power dynamics can do wonders for the atmosphere in the bedroom, but, again, it’s vital to make sure everyone is both comfortable and happy at all times. Bringing new things into your sex life can not only improve your evening. It can rejuvenate a stale relationship, lift lowered spirits, and bring the honeymoon phase right back to your door.

“Be clear of the line between playful nudging and coercion. Never cross the line into coercion-even in dirty talk — do not confuse that with coercion or sexual power play that is clearly asked for and consented as a part of the dirty talk scene,” Hauser states. When it comes to introducing any new sexual experience or accessory with a partner, Rullo recommends that individuals introduce the topic during non-sexual encounters. A great time to do this can be after sex when you’re relaxed and enjoying some pillow talk. Dirty talk is any form of sexually charged or explicit speech that is intended to arouse and seduce someone.

For example, calling your last partner “Daddy” might have made him instantly hard, but your new beau might think of it as boner kryptonite. So, don’t be afraid to adapt and evolve your sexy talk to fit your current partner. Knowing how to talk dirty during sex isn’t easy, but with this guide and a little practice, anyone can become a pro. “Dirty talk can reveal fantasy material, which brings in the erotic imagination for both partners,” says Buehler. “Sharing this material can increase not only arousal, but intimacy and closeness as they learn more about each other’s sexual wants and needs,” she explains.